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"Looking back, I cannot recall any crisis that wasn't
75% ‘age-appropriate behavior.’ There is no doubt that it helped if I
behaved with sensitivity and compassion, and that it hindered growth
when I behaved hysterically and stupidly, but really and truly, a lot of
it was just a matter of learning to wait, having faith in my daughter's
innate capacity for growing and changing." — Eda LeShan
The definition of child is an immature human being, so you
can expect a lot of immature behavior. If you're expecting anything
else, you'll be making yourself and your child miserable.
The parents' job is to have faith in our children's growth
and eventual
maturity, even when they're stuck in the frustrations of
their current age. When that gets hard, remember that you grew
up and came out ok. And your child is almost certainly
getting better parenting than you had.
Be reasonable. They're kids. And, like you, they're human.
Don’t expect perfection, from your kids or yourself, and keep your
priorities straight. Your child is taking shape before your very eyes.
Her messy room matters much less than how she treats her little brother.
Children need to know that they don’t make mistakes because
they're bad, but because they're human, and, in many cases, because
they're children. This is especially important when she feels bad about
her progress. “Soon you'll make it to the potty every time...You're
learning more every day...You're getting better and better at that....I
know you didn’t mean to yell at your sister when you got upset...When I
was your age, I remember how hard it was to learn to ride a bike but I
just kept practicing and it got easier all the time...Practice makes
perfect...Nobody bats 1000....Don't worry, it will get easier as you get
older.”
Every age has its ups and downs. As the mother of an 18
year old who's off to college, I guarantee you that someday you'll look back and wish you
could enjoy just one more day of your child at whatever age he or she is now.
Why wait? Why not rejoice in who your child is, today?
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