Parenting Blog

Guest Blog
by Jill Starishevsky 
My Body Belongs to Me

Listen to Jill Starishevsky live on Dr. Laura Markham's radio show!
Wednesday February 17
MyExpertSolution.com/audio (scroll down to click on "Listen live to our experts")
(9amPT/10amMT/11amCT/NoonET)

Check out Jill Starishevsky's video on Utube.



Sexual abuse is a risk for every child.  One out of four girls and one out of six boys are sexually abused before age 18.  Here are some tips parents can use to educate their kids to prevent sexual abuse. 

1. Use a story as a tool to begin a conversation with your child.
Address the topic periodically to reinforce the message.

2. Teach children the correct terms for their body parts.  Enable them to
use language that will make them comfortable talking to you.

3.  Ask the child:  "What would you do if someone touched you on your
_______? ...Who would you tell? ... Why is it important to tell? ...What would you
do if the person said it was “our secret”?"  Encourage the child to say
they would tell a parent or a teacher right away because it’s their body.

4. Discuss the importance of the rule “no secrets.”  Put this rule into
practice : If someone, even a grandparent, says something to your child
like, “I’ll get you an ice cream later, but it will be our secret,” firmly
but politely say, “We don’t do secrets in our family.”  Then turn to your
child and repeat,  “We don’t do secrets.  We can tell each other
everything.”

5.  Keep in mind, especially when reading the book in a group setting, that
you may be reading to a child who has already been touched in some way and
is keeping it a secret.  Be sensitive and avoid making the child feel
guilty for not having told right away.  Convey that it is OK for the child
to tell someone even if he or she has been keeping it a secret for a long
time.

6.  Encourage your children to tell you about things that happen to them
that make them feel scared, sad or uncomfortable.  If children have an
open line of communication, they will be more inclined to alert you to
something inappropriate early on.

7. Encourage your children to trust their feelings – if something doesn’t
feel right, they should get away as soon as possible and tell you about
it.

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Jill Starishevsky is an Assistant District Attorney in New York City,
thepoemlady.com, where she pens personalized pieces. Her mission to protect children, along with her penchant for poetry, inspired My Body Belongs to Me (www.MyBodyBelongstoMe.com), a book to teach children if someone touches them inappropriately, to tell a parent or teacher right away.  A mother of two, Jill is also founder of HowsMyNanny.com, a service that enables parents to purchase a license plate for their child's stroller so the public can report positive or negative nanny observations.  Through her book and her work at HowsMyNanny.com, Jill is working to open the lines of communication in order to keep children safe.