Starting a routine
I came from a childhood of no structure and it was all right.Although it was just me. I have 2 boys 8-3 we have very little structure and I find we are always fighting to get teeth brushed, hair brush, sitting at the table for supper. Everything. So how do I start to implement this now and how do I deal with the arguing I know I'll get.
-- Tammy.
Dear Tammy,
First, you might want to look at the answer posted here that's titled "Building a Routine or Structure for a 3 year old girl and 10 year old boy" to get a sense of how to implement a new routine.
The most important thing is to only change one part of the day at a time. The second is to find some benefit in it for your kids -- for instance, they get a little time alone with you. Finally, you'll need to follow the same routine every single day for two months, after which it will be habit and your kids will be able to keep themselves on schedule to brush teeth etc.
One last tip -- it will help a lot if you can make the whole thing fun by keeping yourself in a very positive mood regardless of their reactions. You can listen to their arguing, but if you don't argue back, there won't be an argument. Just empathize with their unhappiness, and reinforce your limit: "I know you don't want to brush your teeth and get ready for bed. You were having so much fun playing. But look at the schedule -- it's 7:30pm, and that means it's time to get ready for bed. Whoever is ready first gets snuggle time with mom first."
Dr. Laura
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